My life story? My mom’s an alcoholic. My dad thought we were useless so he left us. After that, mom had to support me and Samantha. I remember when I was 8, I used to sit in the big armchair in our living room waiting for him to come home, but he never did. He left when Samantha and I were 7 and 5. To this day, I haven’t forgiven him for doing that.

Mom used to work two jobs after dad left. When I was 13, she gave up. She quit her night job and spent her nights drinking.

Today, I’m 16 and my little sister is 14. When mom is too drunk to do anything, we look out for each other. Think it’s bad? Well, it gets worse.

I woke up to my alarm. After I shut it off, I crawled out of bed and got dressed. As I was making breakfast, the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Caleb?”

“Yes? Who’s speaking?”

Silence.

“You don’t recognise my voice?”

“No?”

“It’s your dad.”

The bowl of pancake mix that I was holding fell onto the floor. I could feel the squishy pancake mix under my feet. I couldn’t believe that after all these years he finally made his existence known to us. I paused for a while to think about what I was going to say.

“What do you want with us?”

Again, silence.

“Is there any way we can meet up to talk about this? As a family?”

I could feel my face getting hot. The hand holding the phone was shaking with anger. I could think of a million ways to insult him. But I didn’t.

“If you wanted to see us you wouldn’t have left.”

That was when I slammed the phone. I leaned against the kitchen counter with my fingers pressed against my eyebrows. I decided not to tell mom. I grabbed my backpack off the kitchen counter and headed to school.

The call haunted every lesson I had and I couldn’t concentrate. During the lesson after lunch, the school secretary called me downstairs because mom wanted me home. When I got downstairs, I saw Sammy and mom waiting in the car. Mom looked happier than usual. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her smile. A really long time. We climbed into the car as mom told us she has a surprise at home for us. All of a sudden, I couldn’t wait to go back to that dreaded home.

We burst inside the house and looked around for the ‘big surprise’. Nothing. Behind me, I could hear Sammy asking where it was.

“Just wait. He’ll be here.”

He? Who’s he? But the answer appeared in front of me before my mom could answer.

In front of me, stood the man who had been missing for more than half my life. I felt 9 years of anger and pain surge through my body. Just standing here staring at him, I wanted to leave and never come back.

“What the hell are you doing here? I told you not to come back! How can you have the balls to come back!”

I could hear my mom clear her throat.

“Mom! You mean this is our ‘big surprise’? I don’t believe you! After all the crap that he’s put us through, how can you just let him come into this house!?”

“Caleb, just calm down...”

I didn’t want to hear anymore. I could feel my face getting red. Sammy touched my arm lightly trying to calm me down but I shook her hand off. I can’t stand another minute standing in the same room, breathing the same air as this guy. Without thinking, I went to my mom’s bedroom and took out the gun kept in her bedside drawer. I held it loosely in my hand as I walked back into the living room.

I could see the horror and disbelief on her face as she saw the gun. I couldn’t even look at Sammy ‘cos I knew looking at her would change my mind. I looked down at my dad. All the memories of seeing mom crying. All the memories of Sammy asking where dad was. All the countless nights I waited for him to come home.

My dad just looked at the gun. I knew he was scared. I lifted my arm and pointed the gun at him.

“You are no longer part of this family. You were the one who chose to leave and you want us to forgive you?”

“I’m not asking you to forgive me. Your mom and your sister are willing to give it a shot...”

I stared at Sammy, but she wouldn’t look at me only the floor. She wants him back... I just couldn’t believe it...

“Fine. Since everyone is happy with this decision,” I lowered the gun and everyone relaxed.

“This is going to be great. We can be to-”

“No mom. I can’t stand being in the same family as this man. If he won’t go, then I will.”

I lifted the gun to my head. I felt Sammy put her arms around me to hug me.

“No Caleb... Who’s gonna look after me if you go?”

With my other hand, I ruffled her hair.

“You’ll be okay.”

I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.

When I opened my eyes everything was white.